tomorrow is June!! tomorrow is June!!

I feel all giggly and school girlish this morning, TOMORROW IS JUNE!!! Tomorrow SoCNoC begins!!!
And I may even stay up for kick off - we'll have to see how we go. I can tell I am going to be thinking about this all day though regardless lol and that I'll be switching on my computer and starting to write first thing in the morning (after getting Ivy her breakfast of course).
I need a big start, a good, solid start to get me moving. But I am excited and that's the main thing!
There is a lot to be excited about.
I am feeling much more energized of late - I had feared that I would never have energy again, early pregnancy was that tiring. But they were all right, those people who said to me 'Just wait, once you're into that second trimester you'll feel heaps better.' I waited, and hoped, and am happy to report that it was all true :-) I'm so relieved, as it was virtually impossible to get anything much done before now and I am pretty sure I can pull through this 50K challenge now.
Tonight is my Nana's 80th birthday party, and I am strangely looking forward to that as well (what has gotten into me! lol). I've been getting quite anxious about the large number of people who are going to be there, and the fact that I know they are all going to be checking my belly out for a baby bump, and that if they decide they see one they are likely to want to touch it. Don't you think that's a little creepy? lol I know people like to touch bumps, but mines not that big, not big enough to be an eye catcher yet and it just seems a little weird to me - but obviously, something I am just going to have to get used to. As Mum said to me last night, it's their baby too as far as they are concerned lol. Well it's MY baby, but I can learn to share ;-)
Oh and I thought of a name, and I really like it. But I'm not going to mention it here, yet. I have to convince Simon that he likes it as well ;-) Mum likes it (first name she has actually really approved of that I've come up with), I love it, it's sticking more than anything else so far, it feels like it fits (oh and it's unisex, in case you were wondering). I'm trying really really hard not to think of this as being the baby's name, not to start calling it by it's name in my head or in those quiet moments when it's just the two of us, but it's hard not to! lol being pregnant has made me even sillier than normal sometimes I feel.

Oh well. Back to the real business, the business of writing. My main character is female this time around, she's almost 18, comes from a large eccentric family and her name is Roma, well, it is for now anyways. She's gone through three name changes so far but Roma seems to be sticking as well. The story should be a lot of fun to write, I can't wait to get started. I've decided lately to opt for things which are just plain fun to write as it seems to flow a lot easier. My novella in January was the most fun I've had writing in a long time and that came out of me so quickly and painlessly that it was a stunning feeling. And I still love it, even now, months after it was given birth.
Writing can be hard work, but for now, I need it to be easy as there are other things going on in life. The first draft at least, should be fun. And I want to get it out onto the paper and not have it dragging it's feet, not wanting to get out of my head and onto the page. It's super important for me to have a successful 50K challenge under my belt again to prove that I can still do it. Once I prove that to myself again I think my confidence will come back, my writer's confidence anyways.
I've also started compiling a list of places to submit to for the rejection collecting challenge and am still strangely excited by that. It's going to be a good few months, I can just tell, and having all these writing related projects lined up is going to help me get through all the months there are til November and this baby makes its arrival.

Thursday already.

My weeks are starting/ending on Thursdays currently. Which makes no sense to anyone but me, but hey it's my life. Today I am 16 weeks pregnant, every Thursday I get to tick another week off and that's pretty cool if you ask me. Yesterday I thought I felt it moving, which was also pretty darn exciting. 24 weeks (theoretically) to go!
I didn't get any of the writing done that I wanted to yesterday, but I did tick some other important things off the list. I paid the power bill (very important), vacuumed the floor (also really important, the place looks so clean now), and reviewed a short story by K, which has inspired me to see if there is anything around I think I can submit to the BNZ short story competition myself.
Which in some ways seems a little off to me - not the competition in any way - but there is a part of me which says 'hey no, you can't submit anything, you've looked through K's and so that just wouldn't be right.' This was the main reason I didn't submit anything to the Six Pack earlier in the year (Note to K: don't even for a second feel like that's your fault! it's my issue lol). It feels like cheating or something, lol which is so high school right? I've helped other students with their assignments in Uni and never once thought of it as cheating, we've always picked different topics and such anyways. K and I write differently as well, so it shouldn't be a problem, and I guess if everyone wasn't submitting to places other people they know submit then there wouldn't be a lot of submitting going on. And I in no way, shape or form think my writing is better than K's, so realistically I think my chances at actually winning anything over her are very slim - it's just the fact that I've seen her story, I gave her my thoughts and feedback, and despite the fact I think that her writing is better than mine, I feel like I should not participate.
Does anyone else ever feel like this?
All my issues aside though, I am pretty sure she would be telling me to do it, as she is a wonderful person who is so supportive and encouraging of people pursuing their dreams and getting their work out there. You'll never succeed if you don't try.
I'll have a look through anyway and see if I think anything is relevant, there may not be and then none of this will matter.
Except that I think it's important to address one's issues, this is an issue of mine and by talking about it and making it public it forces me to really explore what is going on and I'll be better off for it. I'm never going to get anywhere in the writing world if I am always worrying about the other writers I know and how they might feel if we end up submitting to the same thing - I know I would be thrilled for them if that was the case and they actually succeeded where I did not, so I guess I can only hope that they would feel the same way for me if the roles were reversed.

zomg

Two posts in one day - I must be feeling good.
Well, I have successfully (already) completed the SoCNoC 7 Day Prep Challenge, yeah I know it was meant to last 7 days but I just got so excited I carried on and kept on prepping.
I have a story idea. It's not anything that I was thinking about, it's nothing that has ever crossed my mind before and I can't even begin to think of how I came up with it - but I like it, I'm excited by it, I'm interested in it, and that's the main thing!
And it's not really fantasy!!! Yay!! It'll be interesting to see if I can actually write it how it's coming together in my head. There is more of the story briefly outlined than possibly ever before. Well, actually I guess that's a lie, I'm getting better at thinking ahead and having places to go with my stories and still being able to write them. I don't know how it's going to conclude, I have no idea who the unknown figure in the story is going to be, and there are some definite things that need to be worked out - which is fine by me, I need some mysteries and I'm confident in my ability to find the answers out along the way. Anything that I brush over on this first draft can always be sorted out along the way.
So it's based in the real world, with typical people, for the most part - I had every intention of it being pretty general fiction, but I like having little twists, it's more interesting. So it's not fantasy, I don't even think I'd consider it urban fantasy, it's some kind of supernatural, but not too spooky or anything, and I don't think there will be any deaths in this one (wow that has got to be a first...), I think there might even be some comedy!
It has what I love most of all though, some interesting characters who are learning lots about themselves and having loads of issues along the way. Life is never always simple or easy, so I'm having fun thinking of all the things I can throw at my characters and see how they handle them - nothing is arbitrary tho. I'm not just gonna throw them into a whirlwind for the hell of it, it's all related to each characters needs and situation and thats the beauty of it. Oh my new friends, how will we fare along the way? Who will you be by the time we reach the end of your story? I am looking forward to finding out, and can only hope I do you justice.

Live! From the new house

We are in!!! It was a long week, but we're finally in and for the most part unpacked, and barring a few mishaps along the way (such as a runaway kitty who has since come home again) it all went a lot smoother than I had imagined it would.
There were no emotional breakdowns on my part, no frayed tempers, no arguments, and Ivy was the most wonderful girl on moving day, she did so well! I am so proud of how well she handled it all. And we love the new house (Well, I am free to love it now that my Mojo boy is back, until he came home it seemed like too big a cost to have to pay to be here). We're not nearly as cramped as we thought we'd be, we're all a lot warmer despite the fact we've not even lit the fire or used a heater since we got here. So I expect us to be healthier here than we ever were at the old house, sickness will be easier to keep at bay.
I'm looking forward to this afternoon when it's just me in the house, well, and the animals too. I'm going to move some things around, put some paintings up, and just chill out, maybe sort out the spare room a little more though I can't shift my desk in here by myself. I cannot wait to have that space organised!! My own little corner of the house, the place where my laptop will dwell and my writing will be done (for the most part).
Speaking of writing: despite this cold and my achey body, I feel motivated. There are several challenges coming up and one on right now which I have committed myself to giving my best shot at. So let's take a look at those.

Currently the SoCNoC 7 Day Prep Challenge is underway. I have yet to start, and have absolutely no idea what I will end up writing, but I thought I'd take it anyways and see where it led me - there are several partial ideas, snippets of images and potential characters lurking around in my mind so we'll see where it takes me.

Following on from this, naturally, is SoCNoC itself!! WOOHOOO!!! This will be the second annual occurrance of this event and I am looking forward to it - despite not knowing what I'll end up writing. I loved the community support and fun that we had last year on the site and through the chat room, and found that word wars are my friend, and even writing down ten words at a time is better than writing nothing at all. Last year I reworked a very old story I had written as a 13 year old and lost somewhere along the way, the story grew phenomenally and is onto it's second book now and so far removed from the original - very exciting. I have another story I could do the same with, and that would be interesting, but at the same time I wanted to veer away from fantasy for this novel and see what else I can do. We'll see, we shall. Not long now til it all kicks off!!! Go Team Kiwi!!

And finally, something to line up for after SoCNoC is the Rejection Collecting Challenge. Now, I haven't submitted many things, and like most people am not fond of the idea of rejection, but looking at this challenge makes me want it. lol strange hey? But it's about getting your work out there, getting the guts up to just submit and stop worrying about everything. I'm going to have to work on getting enough stuff together to submit, but that's part of the fun of the challenge. I don't have 25 stories/poems I could send in anywhere, so I guess I'll have to go hard earlier on in the challenge and hope to get some rejections in early so that I can resubmit some of the same stories to different places. This motivates me to get sorted, get working on sending my stuff out and seeing where things go, so thank you pterodaustrodreams for posting the challenge.

a week without blogging

Goes by pretty quickly really!
It's been busy. Still packing, sorting, throwing things out, still very tired, but we're getting there slowly. There are now only 6 days til the move, and that seems a little surreal, almost like it's not really happening despite all the work we've been putting in to make it so. I was visiting my sister in law yesterday (their house is the one we're moving into) and it hit me that we're actually going to be living there - I think it's the first time I've actually thought about that aspect of it!
So I'll be leaving this place a little sad, a lot has happened here. I wrote my first grown up novels, we got engaged here, conceived our first child, and it is the first place that Simon, Ivy and I made a home for ourselves.
So, thank you house, for everything, I hope whoever comes to live here after us appreciates you in the way that I do, and that you can facilitate as many great moments for them as you have for us. It's been a blast, and while I won't miss the outward aspects of yourself, I'll miss the safety and tranquil feeling of your inner self.

I have slacked on the writing front again, but to be honest I've only had the energy to work towards the move, I feel brain dead half of the day at least and have been sleeping every afternoon again. That's ok though. Soon this will all be done, and I'll have some spare energy again, I'm really looking forward to June despite the fact that I still have no idea what I am going to write. Little flashes of ideas have been coming to me, but nothings sticking so far and I'll be truly interested to see what comes out when I put fingers to keyboard on June 1.

Oh and my final note for this post: next scan is booked for the 27th June, just under 5 weeks and hopefully we'll be able to know whether we're having a girl or a boy. Nervous, excited, impatient. Each friday will see me mentally scratching another week off.

Monday

Yes, I am imaginative with titles at the moment I know ;-)
Tonight I finally actually got back into writing! I ended up with around 700 new words on the novel that I am working on rewriting/editing towards submission. I have learned a lot from my first attempts on it, and have very clear ideas now of what needs changing and what needs to stay and after I finally pinned how to begin the novel I think the words will continue to flow - it's nice to be back in business again despite how busy the rest of life is at the moment.
Am also continuing the throwing out/packing extravaganza, there are now 12 days until we move house.

8th of May

Really, time seems to be moving pretty quickly at the moment. Only 16 days til the move! that's pretty freaky if you ask me. I did another dump run yesterday, so now the laundry is all cleaned out, there is still so much to do and it doesn't feel like it's happening fast enough.
So today I think I'll be attacking the big wall unit in the lounge (which belongs to this house) and the cupboards in the computer room - the less stuff there is hiding away the better as far as I am concerned. There is virtually no storage at the new house so eliminating the items living in cupboards here is a good start.
I've decided to get back into the writing thing tomorrow, being that it's my childfree day. I did feel good about going through all my files and making note of whats finished/whats not, but I am pretty sure I want to submit something to the BNZ Katherine Mansfield competition so I really do need to get on with that, it needs to be done by the time June rolls around so that I can focus on SoCNoC 2008.
Which I am so looking forward to! I loved it last year, more so than NaNo to be honest. Though this time around I really have no idea what to write, so it'll be different again - that and the fact that for the first time ever I won't have exams during the month of a novel challenge! Hopefully that means I will actually cross the finish line - though it would be hard not to with all the word wars and encouragement that I know will be going on in the kiwiwriters chat room and on the forums.
Anyway, I had better get back to getting organized.
Have my second midwife appointment today and hopefully we'll be able to hear the heartbeat.

mountain trip

So, I got up this morning and it was a beautiful day. I looked at the mountain and thought 'ya know, there looks like there is a lot of snow up there, maybe it's down far enough for us'. So we went. Spur of the moment trip, it was an excellent way to spend a morning and I'll definitely be getting Ivy out and about like that again as often as possible in the coming months. She is finally at the age where she can walk for reasonable distances by herself and she is actually quite interested in the world around her.


So this is a shot of the mountain, taken just up the road from our house. It's pretty stunning in general, and a sight I always missed when I wasn't living here. I mean, even when you can't see it you always know it's there and there's something reassuring and secure about that.



Here is the top bit of the mountain from the carpark, a few clouds, lots of snow, it was so nice! Bit chilly but no worse than down lower.



Ivy having a rest at a memorial monument along the path.

And just a random photo! I love the way broken branches look, there are lots of beautiful things in the bush and it's just a shame that my battery died not long after this one. I hope I can manage to instill a sense of wonder in my children about nature, there are so many beautiful and wondrous things in the world and I find it sad that so many people don't take the time to make the most of their surroundings.

Eek

So, it seems we can now move a week earlier than we thought!!! So crazy. My brother just called to say that they are able to move out to the farm a week earlier so therefore we can get into their place that much sooner.
A week difference sounds like nothing really. But the difference between having 4 weeks and having 3 weeks to get everything sorted sounds quite different to me! I am going to have to get into gear and really work hard over the next couple weeks to make sure that everything is ready to go.
I have been working on it slowly, but having a week cut off my time means that I just need to pick up the pace.

Today I went through my flash drive and my laptop files and composed a list of all the stories there are on there, including length of the ones that were finished. At least now I have a rough idea of whats on there and what is somewhere in hard copy form but not on the computer. I'll have to have a run through the files on this machine and see what I can come up with as well. So sick of having two or three copies of the exact same file, I really just needed to make things more simple. It feels good! Will have to make a file of the list now before I lose my piece of paper heh.

Work of the sleep deprived

Amazingly, I got stuff done today. *feels good about self*
Not housework, no, not any cleaning or packing. I finished the read through of my novella and made some small edits, and decided not to change the things I am thinking about changing until I get some feedback on it. It felt so good to have that done. I mean, the changes were minor, but I actually felt like I was assessing it in the right way - which is hard, 'cause I just plain enjoy the story, and when you enjoy something so much it can be really difficult to detach from it enough to get to the core of what needs changing around. Hence the decision to hold off on changes until I get an outside point of view. Lol how amusing it will be if no one else enjoys the story - hey, it really doesn't matter if they don't in some ways, the fact that I like it counts for a lot in my world right now.

And then I tried to sleep, which didn't work. Because someone seemed to be reversing a truck for a half hour and yelling out directions next door, and my feet were too cold and then by the time I realized I should just put socks on to solve that I had given up on the idea of actually getting to sleep. It's an idea which has been occurring a fair bit lately. The number of solid hours of sleep I am getting is diminishing and I almost fear sleeping during the day in case it means that I once again can't sleep at night - so far, that doesn't really seem to have been a problem but I'm wary of falling into a nasty new sleep cycle.
I think last night I got about 4 hours max, broken sleep. When you go to bed tired at 10pm and then get up just before midnight to do something (for the life of me, I don't remember why I got out of bed, oh right, the cat was meowing) and then finally manage to fall asleep you know there is something going on. At least last night it wasn't just me, Simon had a rough night too.
I've been drifting in and out, lying awake for hours at a time, but with no real desire to get up and do something to fill the time in because surely, one of these minutes, the tiredness is going to overtake whatever it is keeping me awake and I'm going to pass out, right? Not necessarily! At least I managed to function this morning for a short space of time before regaining zombiehood.

Oh, and my glad news of the day is that I think I might be able to go to Phantom of the Opera when it comes to Auckland in October. Lovely husband has decided he doesn't mind the idea of me swanning off to the opera in another city a month before bubs is meant to arrive and hell, it's been 12 years since the show was in NZ, I might not get another opportunity for awhile! I love the Phantom, I am aching to see it on stage in the flesh, so we will see how things go. I'm hopeful, friends and family members think that it won't be too hard to sit through even at 8months pregnant and hell, I'd willingly suffer to see it, I really would.

A great day

So, we had our 12 weeks scan today. According to this one I'm 12 weeks as of today which is four days different than the first scan - not that it really matters! The baby will come when it's ready to come lol.
Everything is developing in the right place in the right way which is excellent, the woman doing the scan even used the words 'perfect' and 'lovely' on several occasions which was nice. Once again it was totally amazing to see it up there on the screen, so much bigger and more developed than the last time I saw it. It was wriggling around which hammered home just how real this really is - it's in there, growing and wriggling and developing. Stunning. So we got to see it's face (which didn't really look very facelike, the scans are pretty grainy), it's arms and hands, it's wee feet kicking about, it's lovely spine, it's thumping heart and the two sides of its brain even. All there - woohoo! lol
And here is a pic, if you can't make it out it's the length of the baby on it's back, head to the right, tush to the left.


And in other news I'm editing! wooohoo, it feels good. I'll have to look around and see if there is anywhere I might be able to submit my novella too, I definitely want to get it out there.