Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Monday

The outline is progressing! I am... taking it slowly, and making it really basic, not writing down a lot of the details which will be added in the writing, just making some notes about how the story is going to progress. I am wondering whether I actually need to do it or not, but I guess because I have started I should finish - why not give it a go?

I went to my first WoW raid last night in ages. Which is a big thing for me. I used to not want to go because of the late nights it meant, but the reality is that I am not falling asleep until after midnight these days anyways, so that's no longer a valid reason. I put off going for weeks now... I was paralyzed by this fear that I wouldn't be as good at what I do in game as I used to be. They always labeled me one of 'the best resto druids around' in my guild, so expectations were high - but it's been months since I played my druid, I'm out of practice and was so afraid of being bad at it that I just couldn't move forward enough to even give it a chance and see how I might do.
I did not wipe the raid, I did not fall apart, and the world did not implode like I had feared it might. Funny how these irrational fears can be eradicated when you just find the courage to overcome them.

I've been like this about writing in the past - and about several other things. That whole 'I did this great once, what if I can't again?'. And it CAN be hard to move beyond that, to put yourself out there, risk being terrible, but if you don't risk it, you're never giving yourself the opportunity to be great either. Failure is a part of life, and the sooner that can be accepted the sooner we can open the door for the possibility of success.

So what if your next story lacks something that your last one didn't? Chances are that it's also better than your last one in some way. With each word written, each story/novel/poem completed, you get better, even if you can't see that right this minute. Every time you put pen to paper, fingers to keyboard, thought process to reality, you are learning and growing - as a writer, as a person, as a creative being.

And besides, we can always go back and edit those stories so that each of them are as good as they other ;-) The joys of being a writer.

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