Well, it's been an interesting weekend. Certainly.
On friday I found out that carrying on my studies to become a registered psychologist was no longer an option (they changed they requirements and I hadn't realized, and I can't move my family in order to fill them). I was pretty gutted. I'd finally decided what I wanted to do, only to find that after all that, I couldn't.
But that's ok. I'm quite happy with it now! I feel less stressed, more alive, less confined. It's funny how sometimes even the boxes you build for yourself can feel like prisons, even when you're not entirely aware of that.
I looked at a bunch of other stuff to study, seeing as I am almost afraid of not being a student, I've been one for the best part of my life - even when I was working full time I was generally studying something.
I'm not going to study though, at least, I'm not planning to. I'll have finished my Bachelor of Arts, and that has been a goal for a long time so I might just enjoy having finished that.
I am going to work part time, though I have no idea what as (which is fantastic!), I'm going to finish organizing the wedding, I'm going to start trying to get pregnant, and I am going to write, a lot. 2008 is going to be a big year for me, a very different year, and I just can't wait for it to arrive.
I'm looking forward to not having study stress pressing in on me, and I'm looking forward to finding out what it's like not to be a student, just to be a person. I'm actually even looking forward to working, and I am so excited by the possibilities that my writing has. Next year I am going to work on my novels, edit them, polish them, and I am going to submit them. I'm going to develop my skills even more, and probably dedicate more of my time to the kiwiwriter's challenges that there will no doubt be endless of.
Man I can't wait!
The upshot of knowing that there is an end in sight to my studies is that I'm actually enjoying studying more. Making the most of it maybe. The rest of this year is going to fly by, and there is just so much to do. For once that doesn't freak me out, I feel totally up to the challenges that lie ahead.
Monday, August 06, 2007
Thursday, August 02, 2007
The End is Nigh (Challenge)
So it officially started yesterday, I am just beginning today.
I thought I better, otherwise I'd probably end up putting it off too late to actually get what I want done.
I am really looking forward to the completion of this particular story, though I know getting back into it is going to be a lot harder than I would like it to be. Which really, seems like such an odd thing. I know whats going to happen, I know the basic outline, I know the characters fairly well - which should mean that it's not so hard. But it is.
Ah well.
There are a few other things going on this month as well, including the first round of assignments for my new papers. 3 of them near the end of the month.
The first lot are the scariest. After you send them you worry about whether you did what was required, because you don't know the markers at all, and in some cases you're not entirely sure what it was they were asking for - thankfully most of my papers are pretty clear cut, at least, at first glance anyways ;-). But after you get them back, you kind of know where you stand. Whether you actually get what you're trying to learn, or whether you need to really work a lot harder at it.
I've stopped worrying so much about my grades though, I should be able to get them high enough to get into Masters, and if I don't then it's not the end of the world. There are always going to be other options, other paths and avenues for me to follow, which is a pretty exciting place to be in really.
Anyways, I better go and study, or, go and write. One or the other lol
I thought I better, otherwise I'd probably end up putting it off too late to actually get what I want done.
I am really looking forward to the completion of this particular story, though I know getting back into it is going to be a lot harder than I would like it to be. Which really, seems like such an odd thing. I know whats going to happen, I know the basic outline, I know the characters fairly well - which should mean that it's not so hard. But it is.
Ah well.
There are a few other things going on this month as well, including the first round of assignments for my new papers. 3 of them near the end of the month.
The first lot are the scariest. After you send them you worry about whether you did what was required, because you don't know the markers at all, and in some cases you're not entirely sure what it was they were asking for - thankfully most of my papers are pretty clear cut, at least, at first glance anyways ;-). But after you get them back, you kind of know where you stand. Whether you actually get what you're trying to learn, or whether you need to really work a lot harder at it.
I've stopped worrying so much about my grades though, I should be able to get them high enough to get into Masters, and if I don't then it's not the end of the world. There are always going to be other options, other paths and avenues for me to follow, which is a pretty exciting place to be in really.
Anyways, I better go and study, or, go and write. One or the other lol
Monday, July 30, 2007
the blogging thing
Every now and then I get this thought that I should post, and I have thoughts about what to post and yet I just don't seem to do it.
And today, I'm just thinking about the fact that I don't post when I could.
So much has been happening lately, and most of it good, I think.
I passed my exams from last semester and am feeling pretty good about the new papers, it's all going fairly well.
Wedding plans are pretty much on track (as far as I can tell anyways).
Things at home are great.
And our little one is wonderful, I'm so amazed by her all the time at the moment. She's turned into a little girl who for the most part uses full sentences and makes almost perfect sense 90% of the time. Shes this whole little person now, and shes excellent company for the most part. The terrible twos seem to have mostly passed and I can actually reason with her! She wanted to do the dishes yesterday lol, so I got the step out for her and she stood on front of me and helped me wash everything. I think it's going to turn into a daily event, she kept wanting me to find more things for her to wash, crazy kid, may as well make the most of it though.
It's raining here today, which means that it's an excellent day for study. Or for lying in bed.
Oh I did some writing in the weekend, a short piece, for the zing thing on the kiwiwriters website, it was fun once I got into it, but man it took awhile! It's the first thing I have written since SoCNoC last month (other than assignments) and it's so different going from writing novels to short stories, everything is more compact, you need to get to the point quicker and the fact that I didn't have much of a point to begin with made that difficult.
Ah well, it is done now. I tried to write sci-fi, but I'm not really sure I did a good job of it. I'm thinking that the best sci-fi is where the sci-fi aspects of it are just an integrated part of the story, where as I feel like for the piece I wrote I may have over emphasized it in order to make myself feel like that's actually what I was writing!
A good learning journey anyways. I am sure there will be a time when I write sci-fi again, but it will take some practice, maybe eventually I'll have something worth showing ;-)
Once I've had a look through it and tweaked it a bit I might be brave enough to post my zing thing here.
And today, I'm just thinking about the fact that I don't post when I could.
So much has been happening lately, and most of it good, I think.
I passed my exams from last semester and am feeling pretty good about the new papers, it's all going fairly well.
Wedding plans are pretty much on track (as far as I can tell anyways).
Things at home are great.
And our little one is wonderful, I'm so amazed by her all the time at the moment. She's turned into a little girl who for the most part uses full sentences and makes almost perfect sense 90% of the time. Shes this whole little person now, and shes excellent company for the most part. The terrible twos seem to have mostly passed and I can actually reason with her! She wanted to do the dishes yesterday lol, so I got the step out for her and she stood on front of me and helped me wash everything. I think it's going to turn into a daily event, she kept wanting me to find more things for her to wash, crazy kid, may as well make the most of it though.
It's raining here today, which means that it's an excellent day for study. Or for lying in bed.
Oh I did some writing in the weekend, a short piece, for the zing thing on the kiwiwriters website, it was fun once I got into it, but man it took awhile! It's the first thing I have written since SoCNoC last month (other than assignments) and it's so different going from writing novels to short stories, everything is more compact, you need to get to the point quicker and the fact that I didn't have much of a point to begin with made that difficult.
Ah well, it is done now. I tried to write sci-fi, but I'm not really sure I did a good job of it. I'm thinking that the best sci-fi is where the sci-fi aspects of it are just an integrated part of the story, where as I feel like for the piece I wrote I may have over emphasized it in order to make myself feel like that's actually what I was writing!
A good learning journey anyways. I am sure there will be a time when I write sci-fi again, but it will take some practice, maybe eventually I'll have something worth showing ;-)
Once I've had a look through it and tweaked it a bit I might be brave enough to post my zing thing here.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Monday monday
I generally hate Mondays, today doesn't seem to be so bad just yet. In fact I'm feeling rather chipper!
Strange. But I like it. I just did a mad blitz of cleaning around the house with little one before she went to bed for her morning nap, so the place it looking almost acceptable. There are things lying around though and that always annoys me.
Like the old oven, which still hasn't been removed (thanks Dad), the 19inch monitor thats still sitting in the middle of the floor of the computer room (there is just no way to easily store something that size) and the racks of washing all over the house due to the fact that its still raining and our dryer doesn't work (So i guess that makes something else lying around thats annoying, silly dryer). Eventually it will all be gone, at least I keep telling myself that.
My novel is going very well. I'm really enjoying writing it and haven't hit any really big walls just yet, which I expected to, I certainly did with Nanowrimo. Fingers crossed that it won't get hard until after exams, and then I can still squeeze a few thousand words out between now and then.
I'm also actually feeling ok about exams, which is surprising too, but I'm just going to go with it. Why on earth would i want to change feeling ok about them? lol
I had stressed myself out by deciding that I wanted to do my Masters degree, so I undecided it, and we'll just see what happens. I was so stressed I couldn't study, because I knew I not only had to pass but I had to maintain a B/B+ average. Which isn't in itself really out of the question. But, I know I can pass, its just that extra bit on top of it made me incapable of studying, weird situation, so worried about not getting good grades that your incapable of doing the study you'd need to do to get them. Weird how the brain works sometimes.
At least now I have a plan, and I wonder whether I DO really want to do masters. It's a tricky situation, some days i really do, and some days i really just want to write. Obviously the Masters is the more guaranteed way to make a living, I can be a registered Psychologist and work in all kinds of places. But I think I'd rather write. We'll see. I'm leaving it all up the wind. If I'm meant to go through to Masters I will get there one way or another, and if I'm really not up for it, obviously my grades aren't going to be all that hot - either way I'll be doing the best I can with the time I have available (which isn't a lot some days but oh well).
I got some really good feedback from my brother of all people, about my writing. He hadn't even told me he'd read my Nano until the other night and he had some really good things to say about it! He's not the kind to give praise where its not due, so I feel I can take what he said as his honest opinion, and as he put it 'You are so much better than a lot of authors who get published. I mean there are some really bad writers around, and you're not one of them' Very encouraging from him! I think next year will be the year I work on submissions. I need to focus on study still this year, and once thats all done with I can focus on my writing some more.
Strange. But I like it. I just did a mad blitz of cleaning around the house with little one before she went to bed for her morning nap, so the place it looking almost acceptable. There are things lying around though and that always annoys me.
Like the old oven, which still hasn't been removed (thanks Dad), the 19inch monitor thats still sitting in the middle of the floor of the computer room (there is just no way to easily store something that size) and the racks of washing all over the house due to the fact that its still raining and our dryer doesn't work (So i guess that makes something else lying around thats annoying, silly dryer). Eventually it will all be gone, at least I keep telling myself that.
My novel is going very well. I'm really enjoying writing it and haven't hit any really big walls just yet, which I expected to, I certainly did with Nanowrimo. Fingers crossed that it won't get hard until after exams, and then I can still squeeze a few thousand words out between now and then.
I'm also actually feeling ok about exams, which is surprising too, but I'm just going to go with it. Why on earth would i want to change feeling ok about them? lol
I had stressed myself out by deciding that I wanted to do my Masters degree, so I undecided it, and we'll just see what happens. I was so stressed I couldn't study, because I knew I not only had to pass but I had to maintain a B/B+ average. Which isn't in itself really out of the question. But, I know I can pass, its just that extra bit on top of it made me incapable of studying, weird situation, so worried about not getting good grades that your incapable of doing the study you'd need to do to get them. Weird how the brain works sometimes.
At least now I have a plan, and I wonder whether I DO really want to do masters. It's a tricky situation, some days i really do, and some days i really just want to write. Obviously the Masters is the more guaranteed way to make a living, I can be a registered Psychologist and work in all kinds of places. But I think I'd rather write. We'll see. I'm leaving it all up the wind. If I'm meant to go through to Masters I will get there one way or another, and if I'm really not up for it, obviously my grades aren't going to be all that hot - either way I'll be doing the best I can with the time I have available (which isn't a lot some days but oh well).
I got some really good feedback from my brother of all people, about my writing. He hadn't even told me he'd read my Nano until the other night and he had some really good things to say about it! He's not the kind to give praise where its not due, so I feel I can take what he said as his honest opinion, and as he put it 'You are so much better than a lot of authors who get published. I mean there are some really bad writers around, and you're not one of them' Very encouraging from him! I think next year will be the year I work on submissions. I need to focus on study still this year, and once thats all done with I can focus on my writing some more.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Day Five
Of SoCNoC that is. And it's going well!
Despite the fact that I decided to not write until after exams yesterday, I managed to get about 4k out, which put me up to a grand total of 12k words. Most impressed with that! I'm 25% done and it feels fantastic. I am even contemplating getting it half done by the end of the week... we'll see how the study goes, but I have decided that I will break the time I have with Ivy at daycare into study and writing sessions, so at least I will be getting some of each done and won't feel like I'm being a naughty school girl or missing out on anything.
On other things. I finally decided on a wedding dress. Now all I have to to is wait another month or so to order it, and then thats all done with. Baked too cakes today and am just waiting for them to cool before i stack them together and plaster them with white chocolate icing. Yum, hopefully it all turns out ok.... haha, there are so many reasons why it might not though! I may end up just having to bite the bullet and pay to have one made if it all turns out too tricky, I just find it really hard justifying spending $300 odd dollars on a cake I probably won't even eat a lot of. Oh well! Weddings, you do all kinds of things you don't really think are necessary dont ya ;-)
Despite the fact that I decided to not write until after exams yesterday, I managed to get about 4k out, which put me up to a grand total of 12k words. Most impressed with that! I'm 25% done and it feels fantastic. I am even contemplating getting it half done by the end of the week... we'll see how the study goes, but I have decided that I will break the time I have with Ivy at daycare into study and writing sessions, so at least I will be getting some of each done and won't feel like I'm being a naughty school girl or missing out on anything.
On other things. I finally decided on a wedding dress. Now all I have to to is wait another month or so to order it, and then thats all done with. Baked too cakes today and am just waiting for them to cool before i stack them together and plaster them with white chocolate icing. Yum, hopefully it all turns out ok.... haha, there are so many reasons why it might not though! I may end up just having to bite the bullet and pay to have one made if it all turns out too tricky, I just find it really hard justifying spending $300 odd dollars on a cake I probably won't even eat a lot of. Oh well! Weddings, you do all kinds of things you don't really think are necessary dont ya ;-)
Saturday, June 02, 2007
My eyes they burn!
They do, its true, painful to even be looking at this silly screen but here I am.
Here I am, sitting in front of several open word documents trying to think of things to write.
SoCNoC started yesterday! And I managed to get just over 2k in on my first day, which I thought was quite good considering this nasty sickness is making it very hard to think (or look at my screen for long periods of time) this morning I have managed about 400 words, which isn't so brilliant, and I can only hope that somewhere, sometime, somehow soon my brains going to start working again. I tried chocolate, it didn't help.
So now I am attempting to make notes on reciprocation because I thought maybe that would be easier. After all, you barely have to think when you're making notes so it should work out a little easier - not the case.
Why is it that whenever Ivy is with my mum on a saturday morning I just can't do anything other than slack off? am I really that in need of slack off time? (High probability thats the case, but I choose to ignore that fact).
Rambling isn't going to help.
I think my main problem with my SoCNoC piece at the moment is that, this dragon showed up. Now, I have been aware of this dragon for a very long time, but just now he decided to put his tail into things and insist that he play a part in this new novel. Fair enough, he's been waiting for the right story and apparently here it is. Whats difficult is that I've prepped for a story that doesn't involve a dragon.... and basically, the story was going to take up my 50K words and it would be all good. I think now though, things have changed quite a lot, and the story will be a lot bigger than what i had initially imagined. And I almost can't be bothered writing the first half because I know what happens there, and I want to get into the stuff that I don't know so much about just yet.... It doesn't work like that though... I know... Ok. back to writing, for real.
Here I am, sitting in front of several open word documents trying to think of things to write.
SoCNoC started yesterday! And I managed to get just over 2k in on my first day, which I thought was quite good considering this nasty sickness is making it very hard to think (or look at my screen for long periods of time) this morning I have managed about 400 words, which isn't so brilliant, and I can only hope that somewhere, sometime, somehow soon my brains going to start working again. I tried chocolate, it didn't help.
So now I am attempting to make notes on reciprocation because I thought maybe that would be easier. After all, you barely have to think when you're making notes so it should work out a little easier - not the case.
Why is it that whenever Ivy is with my mum on a saturday morning I just can't do anything other than slack off? am I really that in need of slack off time? (High probability thats the case, but I choose to ignore that fact).
Rambling isn't going to help.
I think my main problem with my SoCNoC piece at the moment is that, this dragon showed up. Now, I have been aware of this dragon for a very long time, but just now he decided to put his tail into things and insist that he play a part in this new novel. Fair enough, he's been waiting for the right story and apparently here it is. Whats difficult is that I've prepped for a story that doesn't involve a dragon.... and basically, the story was going to take up my 50K words and it would be all good. I think now though, things have changed quite a lot, and the story will be a lot bigger than what i had initially imagined. And I almost can't be bothered writing the first half because I know what happens there, and I want to get into the stuff that I don't know so much about just yet.... It doesn't work like that though... I know... Ok. back to writing, for real.
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